Previous Thoughts of the Day

• No matter how hard I try to blow my own trumpet, I can never quite pull it off. (1/9/2008)
• Alternate reality, or alternate fallacy? (24/8/2008)
• Are you a leaking star? (2/8/2008)
• We all have carrots that can be dangled in front of us. It's a pity it's so easy for other people to work out what they are. (26/7/2008)
• How do you know you're alive unless you're suffering from a venereal disease? (17/7/2008)
• It's at moments like these that I like to recall the old proverb from the bible: only the brazen whore can eat three cucumbers at once. (15/6/2008)
• Put your head near your anus and inhale. That's the smell of freedom my friend. (15/6/2008)
• That's what you get when you make a man do a woman's job. (13/4/2008)
• Why call someone “ugly” and be happy with that? Instead, say “he's as bald as two fucks and looking at his face gives me herpes”. (13/4/2008)
• Don't castrate the messenger. (13/4/2008)
• The Grim Rimmer is coming for your arse. (23/3/2008)
• Hair in the hot chocolate = pubic milo. (16/3/2008)
• Suffocate your tongue! (18/2/2008)
• How come whenever a hardon is described, it's always “raging”? Why can't you have a philosophical hardon? A laid-back hardon? Or a focussed hardon? (10/2/2008)
• Have you ever done a camel with a porcupine? (3/2/2008)
• The urethra is not a “perfect place to keep your spare pencils”. (18/1/2008)
• You can find out a lot about a person by eating them. (1/1/2008)