The Peacock of Notre Damn

Question: When is a peacock not just a peacock? Answer: when it's a cock pea.

This and many other counter intuitive effects of quantum mechanics influence our lives every day in unimaginable and, quite frankly, unlikely ways.

In the quantum world, a peacock can be both male and female at the same time. The only way to tell is to lift up the tail and have a look, thus decohering the superposition and forcing the peacock from blissful hermaphrodism into the sexual straightjacket of one of the two known genders.

If you lift the tail and see a pea-sized cock, you've got yourself a cock pea and no longer a peacock.

Similar things can occur in the human world.

Take a female pissed idiot catcalling and whooping during a pole-dancing performance. Quantum forces dictate that her firm, erect clitoris will be simultaneously an erect penis. The only way to know for sure is to make a measurement, usually with a tape measure but a steel ruler will suffice in a pinch.

As we have shown, quantum mechanics are not just for sad pimply-faced gentlemen who retreat into the world of the very small in a vain search for a lifeform that will manually stimulate their organs.

Quantum effects also have practical consequences in the world of peacocks and pole dancing, to name only two. Please excuse me now while I check my pole for decoherence from the superposition.