My Pants are Broken (another Tyler Durden moment)

My pants are broken. I left them legless in a bar one night and they dragged themselves home at 3am with a split right down the rear seam.

I think my pants might have been anally raped, but they won't talk to me about it. All they do is lie around on the floor and stare at the ceiling. They never want to go out anymore, even though I had the split fixed up.

My pants are damaged goods. Every time a door slams they roll up into a ball.

I wish I could go back to that night and have it all over again. When those two bikies showed up at the bar and shouted me a beer, I might not have accepted. When they suggested we go outside for a reefer, I might have stayed put.

When they pushed me up against the alley wall and slit my pants open with a knife...oh my God, it wasn't my pants, it was me getting raped in the arse that night! (Tyler Durden moment. Tyler Durden moment).