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Email me your comments if you don’t mind being ignored.

Hints

If you want to comment on something (and you want me to read it), there a few rules that, if broken, will result in your comment being deleted unread:

  • Include a subject in the email. Subject-less email looks like spam. For that matter, don’t use any vague or spam-like subject either, or into the spam basket it goes.
  • The subject or email content should identify what it is you’re commenting on (that is, the name of the article or story). I’m not a fucking mindreader.
  • If you send me a legible comment that says something useful and includes your identity, I’ll add it to the “Comments” section of the page it concerns. Sending me a comment implies authorisation to publish your comment. If you don’t agree to this, don’t send me anything and we’ll both be happier.
  • Don’t include attachments. I love viruses and when I’m in the mood I open all attachments on unsolicited email without virus checking and with all software macros turned on. But anything with an attachment is one extra click in order to read it, so most of the time an attachment will result in your comment being deleted unread.
  • I hate reading, so don’t write too much. If you can’t make a sensible comment in less than a few hundred words, you should look at running for parliament instead of emailing me.
  • Before sending a comment, remember that you are probably an idiot. Idiocy does nothing other than wear out my delete button.
  • If you are tempted to write a word all in capitals, use more than one exclamation mark, end any words in ‘z’ (for example, ‘skillz’), or include ‘8’ in the middle of a word, don’t bother sending anything. I will detect your ultra-coolness and have a massive immune system reaction, as if your comment were a baboon heart implanted in my chest and I hadn’t taken any immune suppressing medication. Note, this means immediate deletion.