Hit Songs for the Scabrous

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Now, people covered in scabs are often treated like second-class citizens.

They don’t get to eat out, vote, or have sex (except with other “scabbies”, as they’re known in scab-intolerant circles).

So, the Scabrous Foundation and Treat the Scabrous Equal, the two premiere societies fighting for the rights of scabbies, have pooled their resources and gathered a collection of the world’s most popular musicians to create “Songs for the Scabrous”.

This new concept album contains songs by twelve different artists, all new and written entirely for the project.

The best part is, to get a copy of the songs, you need to bring a scabby with you to the music store (or download it from the internet, since pretty much only scabbies use the internet to share music anyway). These catchy tunes are sure to be the greatest hits of the summer, and the only way to get hold of them is to embrace someone in the scabrous community.

The foundations involved hope to raise awareness of the plight of the scabrous.

“A scabby is just like any other person,” says TSE’s chairperson, Donna Tichiwanna. “Sure, they’re covered with hideous scabs that bleed pus and make you want to take to them with an axe or steak knife, and most of them stink, but they’re still people and they deserve our support.”

Either way, there are going to be a whole lot more scabbies at the beach this summer, shaking their sores to the sounds of “Songs for the Scabrous”.