The Stupidest Olympic Event

---

The Olympic Walk has to be the stupidest event ever.

Sure, those dudes can walk fast. But if you’re in that much of a hurry, why don’t you just run?

The technique or whatever they use in the walk makes all the male competitors look gay. “Oh no, oh dear, I’m late for my hair appointment with André. Walk fast, walk fast.”

While running may be a pointless competition, at least the people doing it look good. Some of the other Olympic events have their roots in basic human survival, such as triple jumping away from a bear, swimming away from a shark, or throwing a shot-put onto the head of the leader of an enemy tribe.

Some events, such as the javelin, still have applicability in the modern world. You never know when you might need to throw a spear-like weapon one hundred metres into a charging street thug or corrupt police officer. It’s a skill that I’m thankful some people still have.

But when you look at the walk, what use is it? Ooh, you’re disqualified because you lifted your back foot before the front foot came down. I’m sure the sabre-toothed tiger behind you would cry foul...right before it eats you.