House, Season 3 (a review)
House is a grumpy drug-addict played by distinguished English actor Hugh Grant (who’s looking fairly aged and wrinkly).
House has a lot of medical theories and tests them on unsuspecting patients, usually to their detriment. Each episode ends when a final theory appears that fixes the patient, even though by then the patient has had her head amputated or something.
Whenever House is in pain (all the time) he takes a pill and then walks around with a cane.
House’s arch nemesis is Colonel Tritter, played by that massive scary guy from The Green Mile and that lovable alien father in Contact. Tritter don’t like drug users, no sir, and goes on a vendetta against House after House sticks a thermometer up his arse.
They fight for about eight episodes, and eventually go to court, where House gets off the charge of “being a drug fiend” because he’s the central character in the series, and if he went to jail the show would become just like Prison Break.
All the women on House are hot, if a little skinny or old. Beneath the veneer there is a hint that the show could teach you a lesson, but I couldn’t work out what it is. Maybe the lesson is that drugs are great or something.
I believe Jesse Spencer’s character (Dr Robo Chase) is bisexual, but that is based on intuition and not empirical evidence (like, I haven’t propositioned him or anything—he’s only a character in a TV series). Dr “Omar Epps” Foreman is black, with all the associated skills in neurology that you expect from his hard life on the streets. Dr Cameron (named after Cameron Diaz) has hair in all the right places.
Other than that, the show is nonsensical and uses lots of big words like “emergency tracheotomy” and “bear”. One of the characters is called Wilson, and every time he does something, the others yell “Wilson!” in a direct reference to the volleyball in Castaway. Now that’s topical.
If you do not watch this show, one day you will die.