I’d like to cast my mind back to last year when I was on a plane to some unspeakable destination and Dukes of Hazzard was the in-flight movie.

Because I wasn’t really watching the movie, I didn’t have a set of headphones on.

Watching Jessica Simpson’s facial expressions in Dukes of Hazzard with the sound turned down made me think of a contortionist passing a twelve-inch wide stool with plastic soldiers embedded in the edges.

In that entire movie Jessica Simpson never once looked not plastic. It kind of spoilt the perve experience because she looked so much like an inflatable doll, and people look down on others who become aroused over inflatable dolls...especially on an aircraft full of other people.

Personally I’d like to see the stigma surrounding inflatable dolls removed, but it’s probably not going to happen in my lifetime, so I’d like to order one inflatable Jessica Simpson doll please. I have a deposit.