14/3/2006
I like the feeling of my bones cracking. Sometimes I throw my head around like a toilet brush to try and get my neck to crack. My neck muscles are so tight, sometimes it feels like they might snap if I stretch too hard. Is it selfish of me to feel that way?
12/3/2006
Christmas Hangover (2.5 Months Late)
I could write all day if there weren’t a Christmas tree in front of my face. It’s giving me biter’s block. All the trees are coming down now. I bet Myers hasn’t even got one for less than a sticky bun.
There was meant to be a witty opening line but I forgot. It’s too hard for the monkeys.
Be careful when you cross the path of a Black Cat (she was a vampire in the olden days, then a new riff).
The day is off today.
He wrote: “I’ll wear anything you like!”
I could swallow a sword to help munch up my tender lungs a bit, but if I wasn’t careful I might accidentally cut my throat. It feels like a row of razors in there when I swallow.
Won’t it be funny when we’re wives together?
Write it down as soon as you think of it: you know you won’t remember it otherwise. It feels better to be sick than normal. My free lunch is ready.
5/3/2006
You’re a moon-shaped dog. I’m starting to get excited by your smell. Hear my stomach growl, I sound like an old friend. A dog named God.
Stared down by a two-year old.
Waiting at the bank like an English muffin.
20/2/2006
...is a heap of slut. Perfectly suited to pissing me off and driving a wooden stake up my arse towards my heart.
Clever trees are waving at the queen mum.
I heard the wind might give up and die because it doesn’t like the sun anymore. Ah, the sun, my weekend friend who I never get to see. Someday we’ll be reunited in a far off beach, and then you can teach me how to grow skin cancers.
I’m a bit smelly between the legs, like an egg with its head cut off. The butterflies are slippery. The mango tango wants to come back up. Don’t forget Posey, the posing toad who sat in the middle of the footpath and posed for us.
The engines sound like parrots talking to no one in particular.
Into a taxi that smells like smoke and body odour and urine; it smells like a toilet. It’s late at night. I feel like I’m drunk, guiding the driver to my house like a teacher guiding her virginal student into her vagina. I give exact change. Don’t expect a tip—your taxi smelt like my sweaty arse.
9/2/2006
He’s a flounder. A fish without the safety of water.
Limbless, windmill, at once spinning and falling but without power.
Gugrush! It’s a word or sound that he will make between clenched teeth and lips pursed but lubricated by frothy white spittle.
A terrible keen, a howl, for an angel has bothered to interrupt him. He flaps her away, with inelegant ignorance beyond the first acknowledgement of her presence. She knows something is not as it should be, due to his sustained will of silence, but does not see through the shade to the guilted heart. She leaves, and he exerts once more the force and anti-force that is everything in his world and yet nothing, a borderline powerlessness to be savoured for its fleeting period of existence.
Then all power is gone, he is lighter, he is helpless, confused and hurt by a growing realisation. A film of silver quick silver covers the floor and has attracted the ants.
31/1/2006
It’s no longer enough just to be alive. We have to break wind and shatter the sky or we haven’t done a good enough job.
Everyone around here is matte. I can’t tell in their reflections what they see in my character.
Today I’m wearing aqua-marine boxers—or is it cyan? The colour of a mermaid’s tail anyway. If I were to ever frolick like a mermaid, today would be the day. Or the next time I wear them. Maybe if I never take them off for a wash I’ll eventually smell like a mermaid too.
27/1/2006
Dream: Sliding down a hill on Montague Rd on your belly, alongside the morning traffic. Then you realise you haven’t made your lunch, and you’re wrapped in a towel in a hotel trying to find your clothes and a way to get back to your car.
14/1/2006
Plagues and techno-babble seem to go together. Future views from the ink window have neural wired interfaces and deadly toxins to the user of tiny machines. Virus and software bubble, interlinked by human labels to provide a mechanism of understanding. Perhaps in the future ones and zeros no longer exist?
Turkish eyes are the delight of a camel. I expect you to come dressed in the skin of an animal, all hot like a griller.
Delicate meat eater, don’t insinuate my eggbeater. I travelled to a town paved with paper planes, and made it out to burn it down.
I had a dream, and there were whores everywhere. Then I floated off somewhere where rude bits no longer existed. The nation’s capital. Not a very fun place to be by yourself I wouldn’t have thought...except for all the porn you can buy there.
7/1/2006
I’m sure the fairies are targeting my good sense with nonsense. Don’t forget they raid the fridge and leave mouse faeces to clean.
Burger king and burnt ring zing. Please don’t plan your vacation without me. I used a fat-stuff Trollop for the perfect ice-cream flavour.
My car is blocking the driveway, and I’ll have to go move it because the garage is needed. I had a cough, cough at work, and helped everyone believe I’m too sick to do much.
I had too much to eat and now my belly is a piece of flab. Smack, smack, tasty chocolate snack dipped in honey and other juices squeezed from bees. We’re all looking forward to the 11th of January—that’s when the phone bill is due. Don’t try and tell me I made that many calls. I don’t know anyone.
What does the expression “double beater” mean to you? Doesn’t have anything to do with a double bass drum. A good pair of two hands and a squirting of love juice, bring on the double beater! How many euphemisms can I make up in three seconds? Splotch. Just one.
Play the prison porn game you racist phallic-loving anti-consequences rat-infested pumpkin eater. He eats rat pumpkins—they’re real slimy I heard. These words have been written before.
Splotch your way to the top, big boy. You know you’ve got enough ammo for all the film in the world. This is so tasty...