Hey there cannon fodder.

It’s time for another live alcohol-fuelled update from the goat lounge. (Well, it’s probably not live to you as you read it, but it’s live as I write it.)

I’ve just been to the Miss Nude Volleyball 2005 competition.

There are a lot of rumours going around that those nude volleyballers are nothing but a bunch of cock-hungry skanks, but let me tell you the truth is nothing further from that.

Tonight I saw some balls slapped around like you wouldn’t believe.

At the end of the competition, the winning nude volleyballer got to Cockstare™ as many guys (and girls—let’s not be sexist) as she liked to take home and dog. This is, of course, the prerogative of the Miss Nude Volleyball winner.

(For those who don’t know, the Cockstare™ is a physical action whereby the actor stares vigorously at the groin region of a chosen recipient. That recipient is then obliged to engage in hot sexual action with the starer, no choice.)

I would have drawn a picture but I can’t draw and besides my wrist is too sore from...ah...waving at all the Miss Nude Volleyballers as they strutted around the court and soaped each other down after the game.

It was a great night that did a tremendous job of promoting volleyball to the kids.

Anyway, here’s a picture I drew of some balloons that I saw at the tournament.

Yep, balloons. From high resolution memory

That’s it from the goat lounge for tonight.

I’m going to gather up all the hair and semen samples I can to create a human clone. Until next time, keep on working for the man and not complaining because that shit will only get you in trouble with the local medicine man, and he’s got some bad acid and he’ll give it to your mum and she’ll go all more crazy than normal and make you inflate that rubber doll and give it to the postman because he don’t like the dog but the dog has got rabies or something and the fucking terrorists gave my dog rabies and haemorrhoids! Have you ever seen canine haemorrhoids? They’re almost enough to make you gag or go and cook up a big batch of chilli con carne. Get it? Carne means meat or something, and canines are dogs and they like to eat people. And meat. Float the warning beacon.