Some men sit around wondering what their balls are for. I mean, those balls just hang there and grow some hair and maybe get itchy once in a while.

Other more proactive men know the secret of balls: Fly’s Eyes.

The fly’s eyes construction, as a work of artful engineering, it more impressive than the pyramids and the Great Wall of China combined.

What is fly’ eyes?

It a masculine response to perceived male inadequacies in the modern world.

The man grips his jocks and pulls them straight up the middle, causing the balls to protrude either side, reminiscent of the common blow fly.

Do many men have big saggy balls like these ones? Until we instigate a mandatory fly’s eyes test at customs and when applying for your driver's licence, we’ll never know.

Note: this activity is unsuitable for those who wear boxer shorts. It’s “Y-fronts all the way if you want to fly’s eyes”, as the song goes.

The greatest fly’s eyes engineer I’ve had the privilege of witnessing was Daniel Mangan.

On Year 7 Hattah camp he entertained the boys (and probably some of the teachers too) with his perfect fly’s eyes technique and spud-like balls.

Let it be said now: Fly’s eyes should only be attempted if you’ve got big spuds.

There is nothing so tragic as a fly’s eyes attempt that makes people squint and get out the fly swatter.