Excellent Invention #1138-B — The Creakfinder System


Try the new Creakfinder 2000™—the ultimate in thief and sneaking technology. While wearing the stylish Creakfinder™ goggles, you will see the loose points in every floorboard in any house in the world.

Creakfinder™ works by detecting creak potential in the ultrasonic frequency range. It can hear that floorboard creaking before you even put your foot down!

The standard Creakfinder™ system also doubles as your IR goggles, preventing annoying swaps that are required in some other creak finding systems.

You can also purchase the optional Dog Guard™ attachment that tricks canine guards into thinking you’re a fire hydrant. It can get a little moist, but it is far better than the alternative.

Dog Guard fire hydrant


Is that a thief or a fire hydrant? With Dog Guard™, no canines can tell the difference

Call now for a free trial. The loose top step will never give you away again.



Title
Excellent Invention #1138-B — The Creakfinder System

Written
June 2004

Inspiration
Ancient Rome

Dedication
To Tony Barber, for reminding me of the guy who played Max Smart

Style
Omo sensitive

Target Audience
The A-Team

Editorial Notes
Is this an adverisement? Is it an article? How can the discerning consumer tell?

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