- The Deep Boner Files (18/12/2005)
- Ideas for new columns in 2006 (13/12/2005)
- The Premier League in Choc Chip (30/11/2005)
- Adam Sandler is a Spiritual Genius (24/11/2005)
- Movie review: Pride and Prejudice (18/11/2005)
- The 4WD in the City: A Colloquial Perspective (5/11/2005)
- What Neighbourly Neighbours: The Letter Rifling Incident (31/10/2005)
- Miss Nude Volleyball 2005 (23/10/2005)
- The Financial Review: the Daily Habit of all Scrotums (22/10/2005)
- Higher Taxes Please (9/10/2005)
- Excellent Invention #1138-B — The Creakfinder System (29/9/2005)
- Everything is a Remake (23/9/2005)
- International Travel (part 3 of 3): The Illusion of Saving with Duty Free (16/9/2005)
- International Travel (part 2 of 3): Canada versus Australia: The Little Differences (11/9/2005)
- International Travel (part 1 of 3): US Customs and American Airlines — A Potent Combination of Stupidity and Incompetence (3/9/2005)
- Water Hippy says: “Melt the icecaps, man!” (21/8/2005)
- The Marvels of Modern Man (part 2 of 3): Fly’s Eyes (13/8/2005)
- The Marvels of Modern Man (part 1 of 3): The Bush Blow (1/8/2005)
- What does it mean to be Australian? (26/7/2005)
- Paris Hilton’s Shaven Haven (18/7/2005)
- Suing the CFS, and Other Stories of Wondrous Stupidity (14/7/2005)
- Writing the hard-hitting political article (part 2) — Industrial Relations (3/7/2005)
- Writing the hard-hitting political article (part 1) — Superannuation (30/6/2005)
- The Etiquette of Riding Escalators (18/6/2005)
- How to ace your Romeo and Juliet exam (13/6/2005)
- When the aliens come (3/6/2005)
- Hot Beef Injections (28/5/2005)
- The Cirque du Soleil (Quidam) — A review (20/5/2005)
- Damir Dokic, or, The Best Reason Yet Not To Kill Yourself (13/5/2005)
- Upcoming Movies (5/5/2005)
- Schapelle Corby and the case of the evil marijuana plant (30/4/2005)
- Let’s talk about tax (23/4/2005)
- Sledge the stars (14/4/2005)
- Musings on Ashlee Simpson’s ‘la la’ song (7/4/2005)
- Mal Michael and Chris Scott are heroes (25/3/2005) (Updated 9/4/2005)
- Real Men (24/3/2005)
- Jesus Loves You (16/3/2005)
- Port Wakefield: Not much to do (11/3/2005)
- Fugu Me (1/3/2005)
- There’s only one thing fresh at Subway (26/2/2005)
- Review: The Battlestar Galactica miniseries (21/2/2005)
- Celebrating Valentine’s Day: Worrying Relationship Signs (14/2/2005)
- Laziness, the Workplace and the Stellar Community (10/2/2005) (Updated 26/2/2005)
- How to be a good cop (8/2/2005)
- Uncle Toby's “Combination Plus” Challenge — what about... (3/2/2005)
- Stupid slut rewarded for falling (31/1/2005) (Updated 5/2/2005)
- Orgasmic tennis: Maria Sharapova style (24/1/2005)
- The Duxton Hotel valet parking is shit (21/1/2005)
- Harry and the Nazi Uniform (16/1/2005)
- Review: Adam and the Piss-Ants (11/1/2005)
- Holey Shit (9/1/2005)
- What do people do? (6/1/2005)