I hate to weigh into the “4 wheel drive in the city” debate, as many others have done an admirable job either casting those base cretins into the pits of defamation, or defending their inalienable right to drive whatever size car they like.

I do, however, feel compelled to weigh in because unlike everybody else, I am a single white female, WASP, WESM and a totalitarian, making me qualified to judge.

If your car looks like this and you drive only in the city, you are a tool.

Pictures never lie

Most people who drive a big car with no need for a big car are insecure penis envyists. While this way to identify insecure penis envy addicts is useful for suicide bombers to choose targets, it does have a downside.

When you’re driving in the city, it’s not the car in front of you that you need to worry about, it’s the car in front of them.

Pileups occur because people can’t see what’s going on in front of them. Tailgating is only human nature, and needs to be done to stop arseholes cutting in front of you.

The only way to prevent rear-enders is to know what’s going on ahead, and to do that you need to be able to see. When all you can see is this:

Remember that Osama bin Laden has caused fewer car pileups than bulky 4WDs

It’s no good. These people who feel the need to prop themselves up like king dicks and lord it up above all the common people should stop and think about what arrogant, arse-worshipping creatures they are. They should spend their time attempting oral sex with themselves rather than working to earn money to fuel their monstrous carriages of death.

The only way for a bulky 4WD to be acceptable on busy city roads is if it is, like Wonder Woman’s jet, invisible.

It all becomes clear