thegoat
thegoat
Latest daily dump:
“'Judge a woman by the way she washes her hair' proclaims a newspaper advertisement from September 1937.”
...more
Thought for the day:
What do you do when even your moments of clarity are ambiguous? (16/11/2008)
Latest Updates
For your viewing pleasure, a reverse chronological list of updates:
“Should wieners and clone-like teeny chicks realise that they have very little with which to interest anyone and so withdraw into a cocoon of nonlineness?”
“Is it even possible to get the most out of life? People who use this phrase talk about life like it owes them some mind-blowing action.”
“Please valiant politicians, save us from personal responsibility and block our internet use. Look what became of China and North Korea when they introduced state-run internet filtering: they are now world powerhouses, atomic overlords, and extra kind to their citizens.”
“Please valiant politicians, save us from personal responsibility and block our internet use. Look what became of China and North Korea when they introduced state-run internet filtering: they are now world powerhouses, atomic overlords, and extra kind to their citizens.”
“I know how to use wikipedia and Skeletor doesn't.”
“Does anyone ever stop to question this ethos?”
“If I ever meet Allen, I’ll feel obliged to punch him in the face on behalf of everyone who’s ever had to use his key.”
“Just when you thought I'd gotten sick of doing this and given it up to pursue my other interests in flower pressing, ballroom dancing and pornography...”
“Boats float, and watching a boat float floats my boat.”
“Both are dedicated to the living memory of Brett Michaels.”
“People playing mobile phone games in a public place with the sound turned on should be sold into slavery.”
“For too long zombies have been fearful of coming out at night, afraid of being attacked, raped or even decapitated.”
“Punching a hole through the skull with a needle is easier than you might think but more difficult than getting two of your cousins to join you for a threesome.”
“Green leafy vegetables taught Val Kilmer how to say ‘I'm your huckleberry’ in just the right way”
“What do you do, as a corporation, when you're old and decrepit and the new generation of kids see you as past it and limp-wristed?”
“Caesar, as a handsome boy of some 12 years, grew a thick patch of pubic hair and attracted the attention of some 'gentlemen' within the Roman senate.”
“God moves in mysterious ways, yet allows U2 to exist, therefore God does not exist.”
“They sat around the campfire, mottled faces glowing orange in the flickering light.”
“We'd do everything together, be inseparable, like cheese and a suitably priced brand of water cracker.”
“I'm still waiting for the day when Goran Ivanisevic is crowned Supreme Empress of Planet Earth.”
“Finally, the long awaited new album from little known country music outfit ‘The Saddle Bandits’ has been released.”
“The man lay stricken, cradling his dead laptop to his chest.”
“What isn't widely known are the many potential plots that were considered and rejected for the new Indiana Jones movie.”
“Men do not like evidence that another man's arse has been on the toilet seat.”
“I was tartly informed by the Advertiser that putting a URL in a classified ad isn't allowed. The reason given was that 'we're trying to run a business too'.”
“Do you have fantasies about tying people up and making them submit to acts of depravity?”
“Sure, they gave us the Olympic Games, sauerkraut and the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but that's about it.”
“My pants are broken. I left them legless in a bar one night and they dragged themselves home at 3am with a split right down the rear seam.”
“I idolise Brett because at auctions, he's not afraid to accuse bidders of stealing contracts off the kitchen table.”
“What we find perverse depends on how we were raised, how old we are, and how much cum we've guzzled during our lives.”
“One day I'd like to eat a whole cat in a single sitting.”
“There are some situations you never want to find yourself caught in.”
“One day, a humble shepherd, cast out of his village due to his rancid smell, happened upon a sheep dropping that had an exceptional likeness to David Schwimmer.”
“In the quantum world, a peacock can be both male and female at the same time. The only way to tell is to lift up the tail and have a look.”
“The aliens will say things like: ‘We will destroy the world unless you bring us Don Johnson’.”
“Scudwillicker is so powerful that even though he went back in time and killed his grandfather, he still exists.”
“Anyone with a chinagraph pencil can be a mathematician.”
“The only sensible use for a blog is to publish and maintain your 'to kill' list.”
“Democracy has spoken, and since Democracy is a four-hundred foot tall fire-breathing behemoth that tramples everything in its path, I can only submit.”
Copyright © 2008.
people have come seeking illumination...and left disappointed